Tinder – a surefire solution to the transfer window?

TFN’s Alastair Nasmyth returns with an alternative method for football transfers…

The World Cup is over and the Brazilians are sweeping up the ticker tape (and sweeping away the tiki-taki) whilst trying to overcome one hell of a hangover. After valiantly fighting off her attentions for a year with protests and riots, a few misplaced Caipirinhas and they’ve woken up next to the FIFA fat girl.  Giving in to their better instincts they took the rotund Mrs. Blatter back to their place and just as the passion mounted the mood was killed when it was suggested their German friend got involved. As the haze lifts, one can only imagine what the mixed emotions of self-loathing at their elimination and pride at actually hosting the event will feel like. Continue reading

Qat-ar you having a laugh?


As negotiations over the 2022 Qatar World Cup continue, Jacob Mignano offers his own vitriolic assessment of the farcical process…

It’s hard to believe I’ve never written anything about the 2022 FIFA World Cup in Qatar that hasn’t been neatly summed up in 140 characters. Such is my outrage, I feel Twitter is not an adequate medium through which to sufficiently summarise my feelings. That changes now.

Ever since the competition was awarded to Qatar I have tried my best to bite my tongue and just get on with it. Honestly, I was so incredulous at FIFA’s decision to overlook England as the host of the 2018 World Cup in favour of Russia, that when it was announced a short while later that Qatar had pipped the U.S.A and Australia to the post, I assumed it was just a very elaborate joke. As time passed though, I began to understand. Why hold the World Cup in the home of football, a country with one of the world’s most competitive leagues and some of the world’s finest stadiums already in place, when you can hold it across seven time-zones, on plastic pitches linked together by 24-hour bus journeys? I suppose for the same reason you’d choose to hold a World Cup in the sweltering heat of a country almost half the size of Wales.

(Oh, what’s that you say? They both have oil? Well, why didn’t you say so before?) Continue reading

The CIS League: Political Football in the Soviet Union


Think Russia has given up on all to do with the USSR? Think again. False Nine Russian correspondent, Andy Shenk, assesses the aims and implications of a proposed CIS league gaining popular support from leading Russian clubs and courting controversy with the RFS, most of Ukraine and a certain Sepp Blatter…

FIFA President Sepp Blatter dealt potential breakaway Russian clubs and their plans for a Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) football league a harsh blow on January 20: “FIFA is not interested at all in this competition… Competitions between them [clubs] take place within the framework and under the control of the national associations, within the borders of their country and association. That is the fundamental principle.” Continue reading

Blatter Blathering Not Solving Racism in Football


After the notable incident involving Kevin Prince-Boateng in Italy last week False Nine editor, Andrew Belt, finds Sepp Blatter guilty of saying one thing and doing another in the fight against racism…

“There should be very strong, harsh punishment when it comes to discrimination and racism.”

Continue reading

Why The False Nine is Backing Euro 2020


Michel Platini courts controversy with every whimsical decision he makes.

In the wake of the controversy that surrounded UEFA’s decision to hold the European Championships of 2020 across the continent, The False Nine’s Joe Bookbinder, Hugo Greenhalgh and James Dutton discuss why it’s not such a bad idea after all…

Could anyone imagine the final of the European Championships taking place along the coast of the Caspian Sea, directly north of Iraq and north-east of Iran and Syria, in the Azerbaijani capital of Baku? As far-fetched, phantasmagorical and downright ludicrous as it may sound it could so easily have been reality – until the intervention of one man. A Frenchman. Continue reading

No Clear-Cut Way to ‘Kick it Out’

False Nine editor James Dutton dissects another controversial weekend in the Barclay’s Premier League and its implications on the wider world…

Rio Ferdinand is conspicuous without the ‘One Game, One Community’ logo t-shirt

An issue that had lay dormant in English football since the mid-1980s has reared its ugly head in the last twelve months, causing the game’s governing body to seemingly lurch from one crisis to another. It just won’t go away. Continue reading