“Is it possible that Roman Abramovich hates us?”

False Nine debutant and Chelsea fan Lori Zakariyya King gives an emotional response to the sacking of Roberto Di Matteo and the questionable behaviour of Roman Abramovich…

I feel like a mobster’s wife, or daughter. Carmela Soprano’s near relative Christopher was smothered to death by her husband Tony for ‘disrespect’ and she should have reacted. Her fondness of the things that her marriage to the mafia boss brought her overpowered her concern at the means by which they were obtained. Disassociating Meadow hid her own shame in a law degree. Continue reading

Liverpool vs Anzhi Preview: Russia’s Black Swan Comes to Anfield

False Nine editor, Andrew Belt charts the rapid progression of Anzhi Makhachkala ahead of their away trip to Liverpool in the Europa League. The third and final part of a trilogy previewing the game, comparisons are made between the evolution of the club and the growth of a rare type of swan…

Misanthropic TV critic, Charlie Brooker, blew the whistle on a particularly vulgar American TV programme on his Screenwipe review several years ago. Called The Swan, supposed ‘ugly ducklings’ were transformed into ‘beautiful swans’ via painful plastic surgery. Continue reading