Fabio Aurelio – Liverpool’s First Brazilian Romance


The Anfield Wrap’s Steve Graves writes a love letter to Fabio Aurelio, Liverpool’s first Brazilian…

It wasn’t supposed to end this way.

It’s the first day of May and a pallid Liverpool side, preoccupied by an impending cup final and suffering the effects of a dreadful slump in form, gift Fulham an early goal at Anfield.
The game turns into the kind you’d barely notice if you passed it in a public park. For some reason I remember it being really cold, even though logic and a glimpse at the calendar tell me it can’t have been.

It was one of them.

Ordinarily I’d have long since forgotten the whole depressing experience, were it not for the night’s status as a minor landmark in the progressive dismantling of the last Liverpool team I truly believed, rather than hoped, was a great one.

Liverpool’s lineup that day was a half-and-half mix of regulars, Andy Carroll and lads we’d mostly forgotten about.

There was Maxi, looking clever. There was Dirk Kuyt, also clever, and working hard. And there, moving a bit awkwardly but swinging in inviting crosses for Carroll to stand and admire, was Fabio Aurelio.

Oh, Fabio. Let me count the ways. Continue reading

Benitez comes out in favour of North Korea

David Wild brings you a sensational TFN exclusive…

Chelsea Interim manager Rafa Benitez has today voiced his sympathy with the struggles of North Korea in their war against the South, claiming that he is more than able to empathise with the DPRK’s plight of having a large perverting force controlling the masses against them. Continue reading

Obscure Footballer of the Week #3: Josemi


Obscure Footballer of the Week returns, catching James Dutton’s eye this week is Rafael Benitez’s first signing in English football. Take a bow, Josemi…

Liverpool. Istanbul. 2005.

Three words that conjure up such emotive images amongst Liverpool fans. Continue reading

Leeds United v Chelsea Preview: Middle Eastern Promise Realised at Leeds


Ahead of tonight’s eagerly-awaited cup clash between Leeds United and Chelsea, False Nine editor, Andrew Belt, assesses the mood of the Leeds camp and looks forward to a game full of historical meaning… 

With all the furore concerning the mad house at Chelsea and the callous sacking of Roberto di Matteo coupled with Rafa Benitez’s dubious decision to take the reins of England’s most volatile football club, news of a more positive nature struggled to make itself heard. Continue reading

Kuyt’s Turkish Gamble Paying Off

Dirk Kuyt is flying high in Turkish football

The Anfield Wrap writer Steve Graves makes his debut for The False Nine, looking at Dirk Kuyt’s transition from a squad player to a key cog in Fenerbache’s assault on the Turkish league title…
“Are we going to win the cup, Dirk?”

“We have to.”

It wasn’t the most forensic of questions, but the response was emphatic. Continue reading

Yossi Benayoun – The Diamond from Dimona

Yossi Benayoun has enjoyed an illustrious international career, spanning 90 caps and 24 goals.

False Nine editors James Dutton and Hugo Greenhalgh look back at the career of Israeli legend, Yossi Benayoun – a talent often underestimated, with a backstory often overlooked…

Yossi Benayoun, ‘the Diamond from Dimona’ as he is affectionately known as in his native Israel, or ‘Yossi Benyanoon’ to David Pleat, has been plying his trade in English football for the past seven and a half years. He can be easily discarded as a nomadic football journeyman, but that would not do justice to a backstory often overlooked, a talent often underestimated and under-appreciated. Continue reading

“Is it possible that Roman Abramovich hates us?”

False Nine debutant and Chelsea fan Lori Zakariyya King gives an emotional response to the sacking of Roberto Di Matteo and the questionable behaviour of Roman Abramovich…

I feel like a mobster’s wife, or daughter. Carmela Soprano’s near relative Christopher was smothered to death by her husband Tony for ‘disrespect’ and she should have reacted. Her fondness of the things that her marriage to the mafia boss brought her overpowered her concern at the means by which they were obtained. Disassociating Meadow hid her own shame in a law degree. Continue reading