James Dutton and David Wild offer up an alternative vision of the season ahead. Expect surrealism, silliness and absurdities in The False Nine’s very alternative season preview…

AUGUST

In the now customary curtain-raiser to the new season, the Community Shield is fought over by the two trophy winning powerhouses of David Moyes and Owen Coyle, now in charge of Manchester United and Wigan Athletic respectively. Having taken the unorthodox tactical decision to don trousers for the occasion, Coyle’s men are the surprise winners. Having inspired his new side to a comfortable 2-0 victory, the former Bolton and Burnley manager tells the press that his sights are fixed firmly on a triumphant Europa League run, “I was born to manage Wigan Athletic, and I was born to beat the likes of Asteras Tripolis and Hapoel Ramat Gan.” Continue reading →