Premier League 2012-13: A Season of Sorrow, Part 2 – Unequivocal Misery

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In part two of his dissection of this season’s Premier League woes, James Dutton looks at the bottom half of the final table…

If the top-of-the-table is defined by a mixture of disappointment and regret, then the bottom-half can be viewed simply in terms of unequivocal misery.

All teams below 10th finished with under 44 points, which is an extraordinarily low figure. It doesn’t signify a feisty, competitive mini-league, but rather a large pool of potential relegation fodder.

It remains a great shame that only three of them could go down. Continue reading

Hypothetical XI #9 – The Hipsters

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Kyle Hulme brings the latest craze, the hipster footballers XI…

In recent weeks one particular phrase that has been popping up in football journalism and podcasts is the notion of a “football hipster”, someone who doesn’t conform to traditional football fan behaviour by supporting obscure teams in leagues you’ve never heard of. Well, we here at The False Nine have gone a step further and have compiled an XI of footballers who themselves are worthy of “hipster” status for one reason for another.  Continue reading

Long Live Boxing Day Football

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As the popular adage goes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. False Nine debutant writer, Joe Power looks at the history behind this most English of footballing traditions…

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to see [insert team here] win away. Hey! Continue reading