David Wild brings you a sensational TFN exclusive…
Chelsea Interim manager Rafa Benitez has today voiced his sympathy with the struggles of North Korea in their war against the South, claiming that he is more than able to empathise with the DPRK’s plight of having a large perverting force controlling the masses against them.
Benitez believes that, much like those protesting Kim Jong Un and the DPRK’s actions in other countries the Chelsea fans who ‘continue singing’ and who ‘continue preparing banners’ every game ‘are wasting time’.
Visibly affected in his interview, Rafa seemed to be envious of his Korean counterpart’s title ‘Supreme Leader’, claiming that his own moniker ‘was a mistake, it’s very clear. I don’t know who decided that, but it was a mistake.’
The Chelsea boss is convinced that Kim Jong Un’s action against the ‘South Korean puppets’ and the ‘US imperialists’ controlling them is something that he can learn from in his own struggle against the Chelsea supporters, who Benitez himself claims are puppets in a larger scale attack against him.
When asked who was orchestrating the attack against him Benitez seemingly attempted to bring his Korean allies on side in declaring war against the might of the Czech Republic. A powerful Czech humanist leads the campaign against Rafa Benitez, printing salacious and libellous material attacking his regime and undermining his rule.
The Chelsea interim manager said that ‘You can have one person in the Czech Republic, making up a quote and saying ‘Rafa said this’, and then it’s repeated over and again’
The trouble is you cannot change the perception now of people who are on another continent and read on Twitter the opinion of someone else, who has a blog and wants to write something not true. It’s impossible’.
Having stated firmly in the past that he only wants ‘to talk about facts’ Benitez has established a reputation as a man it is difficult to disagree with. His loyal 27,000 followers have yet to be reached for comment but are expected to soon come out in support as others in the media have.
One supporter that Rafa Benitez does have at this stage is fellow manager Sam Allardyce, who has himself bemoaned overarching conspiracies against his own regime in the past, from Spanish quarters.
When asked on the state of his own and Benitez’ potential installations as Supreme Leaders of a campaign against the Spanish and the Czech Republic, Allardyce claimed that ‘There is a perception that other people can do better than you, but often the reality is not the case.”
If Allardyce is brought onside it could potentially plunge the world into two factions in a new world war, with potential for Spain to split into rival factions voicing their support for one of two camps either for or against the North Koreans. Benitez could not be reached for further comment on this possibility as he was visiting friends in hospital.
The world waits with baited breath.